Goats

• M13 has come out and brought us the following card:

(You can see the goats in the middle, especially after reading one of the arcana)

• So, we got some goat love (ok, just one card. and only one of four abilities) but we sure as hell want more.


• Wiseman-of-the-Mountain went over to the headquarters and spoke to Maro himself about the matter. Lets see what he has to say:


• I went over to the WotC headquarters and spoke to Maro himself about the goat matter.


• We already knew that. What did he tell you?


• He told me many things!


• Specifically?


• He told me many stories about goats. And he has many, many plans about them. At first, one of the soon to come out expansions will feature the long awaited goat lord:

• That block will also feature the return of the transform mechanic. This one was a keeper, one of the few not-broken mechanics loved by the majority of the players. Also, the block will feature ideas from the Innistrad block, the Lorwyn block and some future sight ideas. So, let's see...

He was slowly walking towards the village, towering the already small folk and beating fear to their hearts. The anger was carved in his otherwise elegant features and his pointy ears were tense to hear the whispers of the folk about the incident. Another incident. Was anyone safe anymore?

"I will show them.", he muttered to himself. "I will find who the terrorist is, and I will send him flying."

The giant was none other than Lars, the legendary ranger with the flying goat fighting style.

The warrior, who as they say, learned to fight like that from a Spanniard Gladiator excelling at the local festivals, arrived at the town hall, kicked down the remains of the broken door and proceeded to the scene of the crime.

"The bodies, Lars. The bodies are pilling up outside.", said Gaddock Teeg, the Kithkin village advisor, called to help with the investigation.

"I don't think the dead bodies will help us solve this crime. It is clear a beast killed them, but no such things live in these areas. I fear, a more sinister force shadows over this village. Were is the mayor?"

"I don't know Lars. He was at his home last night, or so it seems. Do you suspect him?"

"Well, Gaddock, in times like these, no man must be considered innocent."

"You are right. By the way, you need to see this. We found this soup cooked when we arrived here. We have already sent a sample for analysis, but it doesn't smell like poison to me..."

"A soup, you say? What can this... NOOOOOOO!! Where IS IT?"

"What? Here" He showed him the soup.

"This is goat soup, Teeg." The giant was almost crying. "Only one kind of human -no, more than human- being can commit such an atrocity in order to cook the goat soup."

"What kind of atrocity?" asked the Advisor in a bizzare voice. Lars explained:

"You start craving goat. You can't help it. I know this, Teeg, I also fought this feeling. But others are not like me, they do not possess the required strength. They will not stop until they find their goat. And once they do:"

"Apparently the soup itself is really tasty and has healing abilities. But the way of creating it..."

"This is appalling" gasped Gaddock Teeg. "Lars, who could do such a thing?"

"I don't know. But I know someone who might."

Lars paced outside and screamed on top of his lungs "ESCAPEGOAT"

"You are calling Escapegoat? You think he could have done such a thing to his breathen?"

"No. I know he didn't do this. But I also know he was here this dawn. I heard rumors of a flying goat and it was not one of mine."

After a while, a smiling goat arrived from the sky and explained to them that the town mayor had called him in the morning.

"What did he say to you, friend?"

"He asked me to take him somewhere. He was spacing out, didn't look like he knew excactly who he was."

"I... I have seen this before. With another mayor. I will deal with Mwani another time, I need to go now, before it's too late." Lars told Gaddock Teeg, then asked the goat "Can you take me where he went?"

"Of course! Hop on!"

Lars mounted the flying goat and they went off. After a not very long trip, they landed at Goating Hill.

"Thanks friend. I will call again when I need you."

"Have a nice day Lars!" the goat said, before vanishing from sight.

"Now let's see what happened here."

He arrived at the house on top of Goating Hill and knocked impatiently at the door. After a while, an old man came.

"Hello. My, you are a tall man. How can I help you, sir?"

"Old man, I am here investigating a crime. Did you hear anything unusual last night?"

"No, no I think not. Oh, wait! Now that you mention it, I did hear something unusual in the morning, when I had to go to the bathroom. It sounded like a dog, but ... but bigger."

"Did you see where it went?"

"No, sir, I did not. I am a frail old man, I was afraid. I even bared the windows before I went back to sleep."

"Sigh. You should be worried. There was a terrible creature roaming our town last night and I suspect it came here. But... is that goat that I smell?"

"Ooh, sir, your nose cannot be fooled. It is some goat's cheese my nephew brought me. You came at the time of my breakfast. Would you like some?"

"No, thanks. And thanks for your time, old man. Be careful these days. But before I leave, what's this device?" Lars pointed at a strange looking thing on the floor.

"Oh, that. You wouldn't understand what this thing does. I don't understand either. I wanted to create an oven, but gone are the days of my youth. Now it is some useless junk lying on the floor, waiting for my nephew to clean it up."

"Right. Goodbye then and, as I said, be careful."

"Thank you, tall sir. You too have a nice day."

The old man could hear Lars' footsteps as he was walking by. He started climbing the stairs down to the basement, where he stared at a tunnel filled with captive goats and more of those strange devices.

"An oven? An O V E N ? What did I come up with this time?" The old man laughed at him self. He looked at the goats and his pupils dilated. "We will meet again, Lars.", he said with what started as a laughter, then turned to sinister scream "Soon, I will be complete. Soon. Very soon!"